The other day as I was contemplating my struggle with choosing the right things to eat, and eating way too much sugar, I started talking to God about it…again. Only this time when I was complaining about myself to Him again, I heard something way down deep inside of me, and I decided to really listen. My conversation kinda went like this…well…. I say kinda, because I can’t promise that I remember everything word-for-word, but I do remember the most important things that were said to me.
Me: “God, I’m so sorry that I keep eating badly. I really feel like Paul sometimes where he said, “When I want to do good, I don’t; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway.” Why do I keep eating all these sweets? Why can’t I just walk away? Is it an addiction that I have, God? Sometimes I feel like you want me to stay away from sugar as much as possible, but then I think it’s just me being over dramatic because, why would you want me to give up something that tastes so good, and that you made?”
God: “Because it’s bad for you and it makes you feel bad, not only physically, but also mentally. Enjoy the true sweets that I made, not man-made sugary treats that your flesh craves. Pluck an apple off a tree, nibble on a dried date, or even a ripe strawberry. Save the cakes and candies for special occasions, not an everyday occasion. ”
Me: “Is God really telling me that or am I having a conversation with myself? I know how I can get when I am feeling guilty. I can talk myself to sleep.”
God: “I AM telling you the same thing I’ve been telling you for months…lay off the sugar. The problem with you, and most people, is that when you pray for answers to problems, you reject the answer I give because it is something that you don’t want to hear. You immediately begin questioning if you have heard me or not. When your flesh does not like the answer, it tries closing the door to your hearing because it is at war with the spirit.”
Me: “It’s just so hard God. I try and I try, but I keep falling down a sugary slope. If I knew it was really you telling me not to eat sweets, I would stop. I just don’t know if this is you or me. Why is this so hard for me? Why can’t I hear you clearly on this matter, because I would do anything for you if I knew it was really you, and not just me thinking it.”
God: “No, you wouldn’t.”
Me: “Yes, I would God. I just don’t know if this is you or my own thoughts.”
God: “No, you wouldn’t.”
Me: “Of course I would God! I love you and would do anything for you, even give up sweets entirely if that is what you told me to do.”
God: “No, you wouldn’t. Your flesh will always rebel against My word when it is contrary to what it wants. That is when you have to buffet your body and put to death it’s sinful desires. For many years, I have given answers to my people that they reject, because it is something that their carnal nature does not agree with, or desire. My Son, Jesus, was obedient unto death. He let his flesh be crucified so that you may live and be set free from the bondages of slavery. Will you crucify your flesh, so that you can live in the Spirit and set others free? Will you sacrifice your desires so that you can live a healthier life and help lead others? How long will you ignore My voice? How long will you keep questioning what you hear? Learn to tell your flesh NO when you see your favorite cake or donut. Set limits and boundaries for the times that these treats can be allowed. If your flesh demands it, then say NO longer. Get yourself in balance. Choose wisely what you eat, and you will see that you feel better and live a longer and healthier life.”
Me: “Is that you God?”
End of conversation, but not forgotten.
The struggle within myself is real people! I can get so mad at myself for falling off the sugar wagon, again and again. I always run and jump back on, but then someone brings a cake to work and I cave. I have had months go by and do great, then something will happen and….
The truth of the matter is this: Cake tastes great, and I love chocolate. Are either of these things good for me? NO. Do they make me feel good when I eat them? Well, as I eat them, yes…BUT…within 20 minutes to an hour after I eat something like that, I feel like crap on the bottom of a shoe that was rubbed off on a sidewalk. Yep. I said that. LOL
My flesh absolutely hates the very thought of not eating sweets, but I want to feel better. I want to live a long and healthy life, and fulfill the call of God on my life. So, here’s another truth: I will get this under control with the help of God. He has never given up on me, and I will never give up on myself!
I actually do love dried dates. I wonder how they would taste dipped in chocolate? LOL
I love you Father, thank you for Your voice in my life. I receive it LOUD and CLEAR.