Today is the day that I usually go get groceries and do all my meal prepping for the week. I did make it to the grocery store, but I had no inspiration for my meals for the week. In fact, since this past Friday, I’ve not had much inspiration at all. I have been in such a slump lately and I can’t seem to shake it. I walked into Publix today and had no clue what I wanted or needed to make for this weeks meals. The only thing I could think of getting, was ingredients for some Salted Chocolate Chunk Cookies I saw online today. My husband loves cookies and I thought if I could make one of us happy today, I would go for it. As for the actual food I got for my lunches at work, I did something I haven’t done in a long time: I bought a couple WW meals. I haven’t had processed food for my lunch for a very long time. WTF! I need to snap out of this. I don’t care if it is my hormones or what, I got to get it together. Surely taking progesterone for the first 10 days of every month isn’t my problem…or is it? I don’t want to blame everything on hormones or being perimenopause. I really think a lot of factors are at play right now.
I haven’t seen the scale budge in months. I workout 5-6 times a week, and I count calories on MFP. Hell, I even have a personal trainer twice a week. Neither one of us can figure out what’s going on with me. To be honest, it’s quite depressing. I even did this fitness contest at my gym for 3 months. I did above and beyond what was required for my fitness test, and my trainer told me I can even out do most of the men on his team. Yet, I step on the scale and I lost 2 f’n pounds the whole time and only 2 inches. Again…WTF?! I’ve tried mixing up my routine and it still hasn’t shocked my body. John (my trainer) told me that he believes my body will finally catch up whenever my hormones get into balance. I really don’t know. I’m just down about it right now. I feel like I’m doing all I can and it’s not working anymore. My training sessions end in June, and to be honest I’m looking forward to doing my own thing again. I lost most of all my weight doing workouts on my own, and now it’s slowed down to almost nothing. Something’s gotta give.
I ended up making the cookies for my husband tonight, and he loved them. Did I eat any? I should say, “Of course not!” Instead my answer will be what my step-dad says, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” Yes, I ate a couple of cookies. Yes,they are good. Yes I am beating myself up over it, and at the same time I don’t care.