Feeling Awkward

Tonight my husband and I went out to dinner to Olive Garden. The only problem with this is that he had already eaten dinner earlier while I was visiting family. Of course he didn’t really want to eat anything, so he just got a salad and bread sticks. I told him prior that it makes me feel awkward and I was okay just eating at home,but he insisted we go because I hadn’t eaten. Why awkward?  Because between the both of us, I am the bigger one. We have a height difference as it is, and he is in no way overweight. I just felt like people would be wondering why I was eating a “big” meal compared to his salad. I felt like people were thinking that it should have been the other way around. Instead of him eating the salad, I should have been eating it . Although, we all know that the dressing on the salad is high in calories and fat, not to mention the fact that he orders extra for his breadsticks! Did people stare at us? I don’t know. Did I imagine all kinds of things people, and our waitress was thinking while there? Of course!!! Even though I ordered the Tilapia off of the Lighter Side Menu, I struggled with feeling shameful. At the end of our meal, the waitress brought a whole bunch of those Andes Mints…not the usual 2 each, but maybe 20 altogether. In my mind, I immediately jumped to the conclusion that she thought I would probably want all of them. I didn’t think she was just being nice and wanted a big tip. I am sure that was probably the reason, but I still thought the worst. I wish my mind didn’t immediately go there in these types of situations!!  I hate that I use the word combination, “I felt,” a couple of times, because even though I did feel that way, it didn’t mean it was true.

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